Tonight I've been feeling extremely owfull. I'm writing down what'son my mind about it all. Oh, I'm feeling like a key in a locked lock.I'm locked.
"Now", "I" "think":
The problem is that all over my life I've been satisfied only for some short periods of time(very short periods indeed). As the time goes by(usually pretty soon), the attractions decrease.And that disturbs me; though I feel it's the way it goes. But I want italways to be 100% OK and I know it about myself. I've been always expecting myselfto be the "Number ONE". The problem is that although I know it about myself, and I knowthat it does not work out properly this way, but I still "want" it.Yes, I want to be the best of me and I have got very big deals ofabilities, hopes and desires. The problem is that even when it goes fine, I thinkit's not good enough and it could be better than this. Expecting more andmore from myself. May be because I think that there's no limitation for goodnessesand for what I can do well.Why does it seem so hard to me tonight that I can't even remember what I've achieved before. Oooah, I "can" "want" and when I "want" I "want".
I'm feelin like the bomb of tears inside my eyes, never rollin down.
What satisfies me?Is there anything(or a set of things) satisfying me atall?Where should I seek for them?Are they all inside me or outta me?Why does it seem so hard to me now?Will it get to be better anytimes? :-(
Do I need to be always satisfied in my life?If not always, once in a lifetime? twice? hehe.
Senses of sorrow, worry, confusion, etc.
What's up with me?
I feel I have not used all I have, and this seems to be like deing.
Even in the worse situations I feel like "I CAN". Why is it so strong in me??!
Why don't ya just arrive in?
To forget or not to forget. That's all.
PS. No edition. It seems to be like a panic.
